It's all Davian's fault. He said it was late and he had an early class and so he didn't want to go hunting with me. If Davian wanted to go hunting... I wouldn't have decided to practice healing and anatomy and magery and resist... and then none of this would have happened. So I'm blaming this all on him.

The first dumb thing I did was went to Skara to buy Phat Regz so I could Vas Flam myself in the Head and gain some Magery and hopefully some Resist. I bought about 200 pearl and 100 ash and some root and some nightshade... and then I was full. In fact.. I was too full to move. I couldn't walk anywhere. I only have 46 strength. Wearing chain armor, that doesn't leave me a whole lot of extra room. I had already abandoned 15 bandages at the bank so I could carry money to the alchemy shop. All of my stuff was important stuff; I couldn't drop any more. I don't have much room for fluff, you see.

So I ICQed Davian, who logged in and came all the way to the Skara alchemy shop to save Dumb Janey who had gotten herself overburdened with reagents.

After dropping the extra reagents off at our shop, and saying a sheepish 'thank you' to Davian, I grabbed the key to Hearding's house and went across the street. I keep all my bandages & lesser poison potions there, because I don't really want to be poisoned and at really low health in a public house.

I wanted to practice because I thought maybe anatomy and healing would give me more strength without combat, which would be nice... because I die sooooo easily... and so often. Three times a night at least. All a reaper has to do is look at me sideways... and it's bye-bye Little Janey.

So I sat in a chair, grabbed a pile of 185 bandages, drank a lesser poison potion, and started slapping on bandages. I practiced anatomy on Gwendolyn the Thief, who we hired and keep at hearding's house for exactly that purpose (well, that and Evaluate Intelligence).

The anatomy skill started spamming me. "She looks as strong as an ox and as fast as lightning. This person is at 100% Stamina." Vas Flam. Target my head. Kaboom! Your fingers slip. You have cured Janey of all poisons! Slap on another bandage. Drink another poison potion. Repeat.

I'm not sure if Gwendolyn stepped in the way... or if I targeted the words... or what... but I Vas Flammed *her* head instead of mine. As soon as I saw the fireball go the wrong direction, I knew what was going to happen. Gwendolyn didn't like being fireballed in the head, and began poking me with her dagger. A lot. And really fast. And I only had about 25 hps at the time she started attacking me.

I tried to move out of the way. "You are too fatigued to move!" I was carrying 185 bandages on top of everything else I was carrying. If a few reagents bogged me down before... 185 stones of bandages surely would do the same thing. I had 16 health. I knew what was going to happen.

I started dumping stuff on the ground. I dumped the 185 bandages... I had four health. I started moving the death robes off my packs so I could dump my little pouches off, too. But I wasn't fast enough.

Ughghgh! You are dead.

Gwendolyn went back to wandering around the house like nothing had ever happened. I had the only key to Hearding's house... and it was now on my corpse. I was a ghost. I couldn't let anybody in the house to rescue my junk.. or my body. I ICQed Davian, "Davian! I just died, and now nobody can get into hearding's house!"

Davian asked how I died in hearding's house... and I told him. He laughed at me. I ICQed Hearding, who showed as Offline, a desperate message: "HEARDING!!! Are you there!?!? If so... i need help asap!!!" I ICQed Magnus and asked him to find Hearding in EQ and tell him to come help me ... but of course EQ is having login problems, so he couldn't.

Davian came back to Rez me. The first thing I said after the world turned color again was, "I am soooooo embarassed." I asked him if Joran would make me some armor... so he did.

By the time Magnus finally found Hearding, my body had disappeared. I lost about 100 pearl, 100 ash, 2 runes, some scrolls, A Bow Crafted By Woody Chopper, my armor, my clothes, A Lot Of Fame, and some pride.

Hearding killed Gwendolyn because she killed me. One Kal Vas Flam was all it took. I took the lockpick - her only possession - off of her body.

I recalled to Jhelom and bought a bunch of keys and made about six copies of Hearding's key to put in peoples' bank boxes. Then we won't have that problem next time.

The worst part about it... is that I was friended to Hearding's house. I could have *just logged off.*

Verily, *I* doth suck.